Pirates and Parrots and Wolves, Oh My!
by LadyAlambiel
Summary: Pirates and Parrots and Wolves, Oh My! Galma certainly isn't dull today! For International Talk Like A Pirate Day, arrr!


Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't...

Summary: Pirates and Parrots and Wolves, Oh My! Galma certainly isn't dull today!

A/N: This is set in my _A Light in the Darkness_ universe, but this can be read as a standalone.

A/N2: So, WillowDryad and I got together to do another challenge fic in honor of September 19th being International Talk Like A Pirate Day. The challenge was to write a story using with the following opening sentence, three elements, and closing sentence: The clouds were black on the horizon. Mistaken identity, panpipes, a wolf, and "Well, that could have turned out better...or worse." And of course, the obligatory pirate paraphernalia such as a parrot and a ship simply must be included. This is what I dreamed up using those guidelines. Be sure to check out Willow's response to the challenge! Enjoy!

**Pirates and Parrots and Wolves, Oh My!**

ӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁ

The clouds were black on the horizon. It was not a day to be sailing. It wasn't even a day to be on the beach and yet that was exactly where Lucy was or so she thought as it was a mite difficult to tell with the bag over her head. What a bother.

She could feel the wind whipping her skirts and the sound of the waves grew louder. Her kidnappers had been very quiet since they grabbed her. Although, she was quite certain they were sailors…at least she had two more daggers secreted away. Kat would have made _her_ run suicides if she didn't have more daggers.

Someone grunted then waves slapped against her legs, soaking her skirts, before one of the men grabbed her around the waist and then hefted her beneath his arm. Lucy wrinkled her nose. He stunk of rotten fish and stale beer. She heard the sound of boots stamping against wood. A ramp? This close to the ocean, it had to be a ship of some sort.

Then a rather off-key song filled the air.

"Farewell and despedida to you, dancing ladies,

Farewell and despedida to you, ladies of Calormen,

For we're under orders to sail for green Archenland

And mayhap we'll see you again!"

It was certainly a blessing when a rough voice called out, "Cap'n! We gots 'er!"

"Who? Who we got?"

"The gel ya wanted."

"Gel? What gel? When did I want it?" The bag came off her head and Lucy stared up at a man with skin well-tanned by exposure to sea and sun. A red headscarf covered the top of his head and shaggy black hair with various wooden and silver beads strung amongst the matted locks. He was clad in a loose, dingy tan undertunic, brown leggings, and scuffed brown boots that laced up to his mid-thigh. He stared at her then looked at the man still holding her. "I didna ask for a girl. I said we need a jelly to go with the pickled turtle eggs."

Lucy had to suppress a sudden giggle as her captor released her abruptly. "Ya said gel, Cap'n. The gel in red. And this one be a fine ladylike gel. Get a ransom for 'er."

The Captain rubbed his chin. "You look familiar. Have I threatened you before?"

Lucy drew herself up and lifted her chin. "No. We would also advise you, Captain, to release Us before Our Brother discovers this mishap and takes offense."

She was slightly surprised when the man suddenly swept a bow, the red tails of his headscarf flopping over his shoulder. "Oh sweet lady loveliness, I be no other than Captain Dalzeel."

"_You're_ Captain Dalzeel?" Lucy giggled. "I thought you said you were a merchant and definitely not a smuggler."

Dalzeel drew back then dropped into a slight crouch, peering at her. "Oh so you have heard of me. Wonderful!"

"Yes." Lucy smiled more. "Oreius had a lot to say about you."

"The Centaur?" Dalzeel straightened abruptly, scanning the shore. "He don't be with you? I don't care ta be seeing him again. Very serious fellow, very serious and no appreciation for singing. Not even for Dancing Ladies, me favorite song."

"No, he's not here."

Dalzeel leaned back then an obnoxious squawk filled the air, "Royal Lovely! Royal Lovely!"

The man who had misunderstood the captain's wishes sighed heavily. "Cap'n, can't we kill it?"

"No." Dalzeel straightened then went over to a cage and hugged it. "She's me bird, savvy?"

"Royal Lovely! Royal Lovely!"

Lucy arched an eyebrow at the colorful parrot. Then Dalzeel smiled. "Oh wait! I remembers! What about her royal loveliness?"

"Kat?"

"FOR NARNIA!" Twin howls punctuated the war cry. Then Edmund charged up the ramp, Shafhelm drawn, with the Greyback brothers right behind him.

"We surrender!" squawked the parrot.

One of the Wolves completely forgot to keep snarling as he tilted his head. "What's that?" He bounded past Lucy and the men to peer into the cage. "Who are you?"

The parrot flapped its bright red wings. "Don't eat me! We surrender! Don't eat me!"

The Greyback brother who still snarled at Cap'n Dalzeel and the other men raised his head. "Remus! Don't be a pup!"

Lucy quickly took her dagger back from the larger man then raised her free hand. "Edmund, stop!"

Scowling fiercely, her brother paused though Shafhelm remained pointed at the men. "Lu?"

"It was just a misunderstanding. Look, this is Dalzeel."

Edmund frowned as he lowered Shafhelm slightly. "The smuggler who helped Kat and Oreius last year?"

"Captain. Captain Dalzeel." The man in question raised his hands, giving them a lopsided grin. "And I be but a humble and most legal purveyor of fine and occasionally mostly intact goods, savvy?"

For a tense moment, no one moved then Edmund sheathed his sword. "A misunderstanding, you say? And just what legitimate business brings you and your crew to Galma?"

Dalzeel swept another grandiose if unsteady bow but whatever he was about to say was lost when Remus growled and lunged at the cage. The parrot squawked and the Wolf yipped. Then the cage crashed into Edmund's legs. Lucy clapped a hand over her mouth as Remus skidded across the deck and crashed into her brother, sending them both off the ramp and into the sea.

Lucy was distracted for a moment by a tap on her shoulder. Dalzeel was studying her with an almost surprising clarity. "What sorta reward would I be having iffen I fish yon king out all on me lonesome?"

ӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁ

The bonfire crackled, giving off a cheery warmth that challenged the cool weather that still promised rain. Edmund sat, head in hand. and trying not to wince as Dalzeel staggered around the fire singing with enthusiasm and absolutely no pitch while Lucy played a merry tune on her panpipes. The Wolves were lying beside him with their paws covering their ears. He could only hope that Lucy would cease teaching Dalzeel Narnian sailing songs sooner than later.

It seemed hours had passed before Lucy ceased her playing. Dalzeel was _still_ caterwauling. Edmund was beginning to see exactly why the man had gotten on Oreius' nerves so much according to all the reports. His sister flopped down beside him. She observed his misery and giggled.

"Such a lovely visit to Galma, Sister. Just wait until Peter finds out you were kidnapped because a smuggler's crew thought he wanted a 'gel' and not jelly. How does anyone make that mistake?"

Lucy grinned. "I fear ale might have been involved in that particular misunderstanding, Edmund."

"Probably. It's also probably a good thing that Kat and Oreius are on their honeymoon and not likely to learn of this…immediately."

She giggled again as they watched Dalzeel attempt a backflip only to fall on his face in the sand. Edmund shook his head. "Well, that could have turned out better…or worse."

ӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁ

**A/N: Avast, mateys, it be National Talk Like A Pirate Day! Review this here story and be tellin' iffen ya liked it or no. And don't be forgetin' ta read The Dread Pirate WillowDryad's story, _A Pirate Life For Me?_ or I'll keelhaul ye scurvy dogs, Arrrr! Hahahahaha! ;)**


End file.
